


But Cecilia’s a Sweetheart

by ivycross



Series: A Series of Horrible (Maybe Not So Horrible) Encounters [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Apartment AU, M/M, Pre-Slash, Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4182231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivycross/pseuds/ivycross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has lost his pet spider. Good thing his downstairs neighbor Danny found it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Cecilia’s a Sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> Based on one of those Tumblr posts that has a dozen or so different AU ideas. This is technically based off two different ones.

Chin knows there's trouble when walks into Steve's apartment and Steve yells from somewhere in the kitchen, “Shut the door!” Immediately Chin slams the door shut behind him and taking a quick look around, steps his way toward the sound of Steve's voice. He peers over the short wall that separates the kitchen from the living room and finds Steve on his hands and knees glaring under his refrigerator.

“Cecilia escape again, brah?”

“I don't know how she's doing it,” Steve says getting to his feet. “I swear I shut the door to her tank last night."

“Are you sure?”

Steve looks absolutely indignant. “Yeah, Chin. I'm sure. She must have gotten it open somehow.”

Chin shakes his head and sighs. Steve's a good man and his best friend, but honestly, he put too much stock in the idea that his pink-toed tarantula is some kind of genius escape artist. Steve blows out a breath, running a hand through his messy dark hair.

“I gotta find her, Chin. The office manager was very clear about what would happen if she got loose again.”

Chin raises both hands in a soothing gesture. “Relax. We'll find her. Maybe we can set a trap. Stick some of her feeder crickets in a box or something?”

Steve nods, his eyes still moving around his kitchen. “Yeah, that might work. Let me go see if I have any left and ─”

“Jesus Christ!”

The shout comes from below them and both Chin and Steve look down.

“Who's that?” Chin asks.

“My new neighbor. He's the one that owns the white Camaro.” Steve says in an off-handed fashion. As if that's all there is to tell.

Chin nods. “Do you think he's hurt?”

“Nah. When he's hurt, he screams “son of a bitch.” Unless his daughter is around. Then it's “cream and biscuits.”

A smile forms on Chin's lips.

"Why do you know that?"

Steve's eyes widen as his mouth hang open for a moment. "Because he's loud. He's always shouting about something. After he first moved in, I once ran downstairs cause I thought he was being attacked. Turns out he was watching a hockey game.”

“Huh,” Chin says trying not to laugh. “So... You know what other colorful words he uses and for what situations." Like sex perhaps…

Steve must have known what Chin's thinking, and how could he not. Chin is actually leering at his friend. Steve straightens his shoulders as his face turns bright pink under his tan. “No," he spits out.

Chin laughs. His laughter dies in his throat after a few seconds. “Hey, Steve. You don't think…."

Once more Steve's hazel eyes go wide and the color drains from his face. “No. She couldn't.”

“It wouldn't hurt to make sure.”

As one, they both run out of Steve's apartment into the open air hallway. Steve doesn't bother with the stairs as the drop below was only a few feet. He jumps the railing and lands in the flower bed below, beating Chin to his neighbor’s door.

Chin arrives as Steve is knocking. "Danny. It’s Steve. Your upstairs neighbor. You alright?”

From the other side of the door, Chin can hear:” Oh thank god. Get in here and kill this thing.”

Steve is in the door like a shot with Chin trailing close behind. There in the living room stands a stocky blond man, who Chin assumes is Danny, perched on the edge of his sofa. He's dressed in slacks and blue button up shirt, its sleeves carefully rolled to his elbows. He's brandishing a rolled up newspaper towards the coffee table in front of him.

“I was minding my own business, watching the game and I reach for my beer when that thing tried to bite me!”

On the coffee table is Cecilia, next to a fallen bottle of booze, waving her front legs in what could be seen as an indignant manner. At least, that must be how Steve sees it as he reaches down scooping up the spider.

“Hey, girl. Shh, it's okay. I won't let the bad man hurt you.”

“Excuse me?” On the sofa Danny stops moving, narrowing his blue eyes at Steve. “First, is that your pet? Second, I'm sorry but how am I the bad guy here? You set that thing loose on me and I'm the one being called a bad man. How does that work?”

To Chin's amusement, Steve glares right back. He holds Cecilia close to his chest. “For your information, she _is_ my pet and yeah, you are the bad guy. You wanted to kill her. She wasn’t hurting you.”

“She?” Danny yells. He steps off the sofa and to Chin's surprise he's a lot shorter than he first thought. The top of his head barely reaches Steve's chin, but that doesn't stop him from pointing an angry finger at him. “Well, _SHE_ was in my apartment and _SHE_ could have bitten me.”

“Cecilia's a sweetheart. She wouldn't have bitten you and even if she had; it wouldn’t have hurt you. Their venom only causes mild skin irritation.”

“Mild skin irritation?” Danny's brow furrows and his mouth hangs open. “Yeah, no. That is not a good thing at all. Because then you have the matter of infections.”

“Infections?” Steve asks.

“Yes. Infections. So her venom's not deadly. So what? The bite could still become infected and that opens the door for a whole world of trouble. And what if my daughter had been here? What if she had bitten her?”

“Will you stop yelling?” Steve asks peering down his nose. His eyes are wide and dark, and his nostrils flare with each breath. “You're upsetting her." It is at this moment Cecilia decides to jump in Steve's hands. He's quick and keeps her from getting loose again, but Danny’s gone white as he stares at Steve's cupped hands. Even Chin places a hand over his heart as it beats wildly in his chest.

Steve doesn't notice. He holds his cupped hands up to his face and starts making soothing noises at the spider. “Awww, look. You scared her.”

Danny’s eyes bulge and his face turns bright red. It's like something out of a cartoon. “I've scared her?" There's a gurgling from the back of the man’s throat and Chin thinks that maybe he's having a stroke. “Take your eight-legged-devil-spawn and get the fuck out of my apartment!" Danny screams.

“Gladly!” Steve screams back turning on his heel and stomping past Chin.

Chin purse his lips as Steve goes by. He catches Danny looking at him and he waves. “Nice to meet you," Chin say. “Sorry for the trouble. Uh... Aloha." Quickly, he's out the door shutting it behind him. He can hear cursing and muttering from the other side. Something about “crazy asshole," and "pineapple infested hell."

When he makes it back to Steve's apartment, Steve has already placed Cecilia back in her tank and is cooing at her through the glass.

“Did that horrible little man upset you? I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'll go to the store and get some big fat cockroaches to make up for it, OK?"

Chin smiles shaking his head. “So, that's your neighbor?"

Steve turns from the glass tank and nods. "Yes, and as you can see, he's awful."

“Yeah, I can totally see that. I mean how dare he not want a large spider in his home. Shame on him.”

Steve scowls. “Do not defend him. He threatened Cecilia.” He turns back and makes a few kissy faces through the glass of the tank before moving toward the kitchen.

Chin chuckles as he follows. “What are you doing tonight, Steve?"

Opening his fridge and taking out a beer, Steve looks puzzled. “Nothing. Why?”

“Kono and I are going out tonight and you're coming with us, cause you obviously need to get laid. No one should dote that much on a spider.”

Or look that turned on yelling at their neighbor.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts used for this were _"I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbor standing on a chair to avoid a rat/cockroach/snake AU"_ and _"My pet tarantula escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is scared of spiders AU."_ There are a ton of these type of prompts and lot of them have caught my eye, so I might make an on going series of this AU.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr user name ivycross. Come say hi or anything really. Thanks for reading.


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